• This is a simple way to assess where you are in the process of reinventing yourself after divorce or breakup. Don’t give up. Often the rebuilding will take a few years but is so worth the patience and commitment to creating a better you in a better life. Review this list every so often to check the progress you are making. Good luck!

• I have accepted that my marriage is over.

• I want to use the pain of this divorce to learn about myself.

• I am practicing relaxation, mindfulness, journalling, etc. as ways to help deal with my fears and everyday stress.

• I am learning what underlying beliefs and feelings motivate my maladaptive behaviour.

• I am well underway in adjusting my life to the change in my marriage relationship.

• I am committed to understanding some of the reasons why my relationship ended.

• If I have children of any age, I will attempt to help them work through their adjustment process.

• I am avoiding feelings like loneliness by keeping busy ( working long hours, staying away from home).

• I am able to share my rebuilding process with at least one friend or family member.

• I accept that grief is part of this loss, not only the past but the future as well.

• I am comfortable talking with my former partner or lover.

• I am reaching a stage of forgiveness instead of plotting revenge.

Yours in living and loss, Brenda