Grief in the holidays can be a heavy load at times. Grief seems magnified during this time of year. Conflicting emotions and desires can create real tension within: you want to be happy with your family and friends, yet the absence of your loved one is so painful at the same time. There is no way to eliminate our grief but there are ways to mange how it impacts the holidays. This Holiday Grief Creed is a concise way to keep some principles of self care and suggestions to navigate in mind.

I believe…. that my grief will accompany me throughout the holidays. I accept that it will be here when I am shopping, visiting friends and family, and preparing the house and food for the holidays. I will take time each day to tune into my grief.

 I believe… that as I learn about grief, I will also learn ways to navigate these special days and seasons. Planning ahead will help me prepare for special events. I want to choose actions that honours my beloved, myself, and others.

 I believe….. taking care of myself is critical during this season. My physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual self-care allows me to walk with grace through these days.

 I believe .… grief is affecting me in many ways and I am being changed by this process. I have examined my values and purpose. I am open to finding new ways to express those values during the holidays.

 I believe…that old expectations may not be realistic from now on and making adjustments is a sign of strength. It’s okay to think of alternate or simplified versions of old traditions. I will find ways to keep my loved one in my holidays by adding small rituals such as lighting a candle daily in his/her name.

 I believe… communication with my friends and family is important to better handle important days. Grief is teaching me to say ‘yes’ to what works for me and ‘no’ to what does not.

 I believe that it is normal to have both joy and grief during the holidays. I am learning to hold both in my heart. I want to keep myself open to this new way of living with my loss, yet still be open to living life today.

Yours in living and loss,

Brenda