There are losses that unfold slowly, without a clear moment of goodbye. You wake up one day and realize that the person sitting across from you — the one you’ve known for years, maybe decades — has changed. Not gone, but different. Illness has a way of rearranging lives like that. It takes pieces of the person you love, sometimes gently, sometimes all at once, until the familiar rhythms of your connection no longer sound the same.

We often think of grief only in terms of death. But what about the loss that’s steeped in separation, absence, and invisible walls? The incarceration of someone close — whether a family member, partner, or friend — can stir a grief as real and deep as any other. It’s a non-death loss that deserves acknowledgment, care, and compassion.

Before I was widowed, I thought grieving was just lots of crying. And it is. But I found out that it is so much more. 

Just like our fingerprints, our grieving is individual.

There is a constellation of symptoms that will be unique to you. As you navigate through the landscape of you grief, life can be very chaotic and upsetting. It’s certainly ok that you’re not ok. 

The following list may suprise and overwhelm you in the length of symptoms. You certainly won’t experience everything here. Remember, your grief shows in your own way. Easy does it.