The Symptoms of Grief
What Happens When We Grieve
Before I was widowed, I thought grieving was just lots of crying. And it is. But I found out that it is so much more.
Just like our fingerprints, our grieving is individual.
There is a constellation of symptoms that will be unique to you. As you navigate through the landscape of you grief, life can be very chaotic and upsetting. It’s certainly ok that you’re not ok.
The following list may suprise and overwhelm you in the length of symptoms. You certainly won’t experience everything here. Remember, your grief shows in your own way. Easy does it.
Physical- shown through your behaviors, your health, and your body symptoms
· Sleep disturbances, dreams of the deceased,
· Appetite change, overuse of alcohol and drugs, promiscuity, delinquency in youth,
· Avoiding reminders of the past
· Poor work performance, absentminded behavior
· Social withdrawal, neglect of self, restlessness
· Headaches, dry mouth, heart palpitations
· Crying, angry outbursts
· Lowered immune system = flu, colds,
Body Sensations
o Tightness in throat and chest, hollowness in stomach, shortage of breath, sighing
o Lack of energy
o Sensitivity to noise
Emotional – shown through your feelings and your attitudes
· Sadness, anger, frustration, guilt, regret, anxiety, shock, helplessness, loneliness, relief, numbness, yearning, emptiness, despair, shame.
· Explosive emotions such as hate, blame, rage, resentment, revenge, jealousy and beneath these feelings are pain, fear, and hurt
Mental – shown through thoughts and perceptions
· Confusion, disbelief, preoccupations, loss of interest,
· Poor concentration and memory loss, negative thoughts,
· Mental fatigue
Spiritual – shown through sense of self and religion
· Worldview changes
· Beliefs are questioned
· Lack of meaning or direction in life
What a list!!!! No wonder you may be feeling so terrible right now. Knowing that these symptoms are part of mourning may help you relax and be a little more easy on yourself.
Yours in living and loss, Brenda