Coping with Grief
Many people are surprised by how strongly grief has impacted their thinking, feelings, behavior, and beliefs. Here is a list of what possibly can occur. When you read a symptom, place it on your ‘fingerprint’ to create how grief has been expressed in your life.
Symptoms of grief come in many ways: shock, numbness, sadness, despair, loneliness, disbelief, isolation, relief, yearning, anger, difficulty concentrating, forgetfulness, body aches, irritability, increased or decreased appetite, fatigue, sleeplessness, guilt, anxiety, regret, depression, crying, headaches, worry, stomach or chest pains, restless, blaming, neglecting self or others, sighing, ruminating, loss of confidence, sensitivity to noise and activity, queasiness, confusion.
Managing Yourself and Gaining Control
The Basics ** BE Gentle and Compassionate With Yourself
1. Healthy diet - Eat lots of juicy fruit and vegetables.
2. Reduce caffeine intake – it acts as a stimulant and dehydrates
3. Reduce sugar – it depresses the immune system
4. Reduce alcohol – it acts as a depressant
5. Drink LOTS of water…. 6-8 glasses each day
6. Move everyday – go for walks outside
7. Nurture yourself with art, music, massage, nature, photography
8. Rest as needed
9. Wear comfortable clothing
Emotional Coping
1. Find a counsellor - Sometimes its good to reach out and learn more about grief and get support in finding ways to cope that work for you. This conversation and time is just for you and your grief to say and feel whatever is needed.
2. Find a support group- Grief groups can be beneficial because the meetings break isolation and you have found people who are also walking their grief journey. These groups establish genuine connections after the group has disbanded.
3. Talk to trusted friend or neighbor - Often we just need a witness to the ongoing life adjustments that is so valuable to a person grieving. There is a fluid movement between openly sharing with others and privately processing.
4. Write in journal is a time tested way to dump and own all the thoughts and feelings of the day. Not only is it a safe and private expression, it is a record of progress and change that occurs after the loss.
5. Read books or listen to others grief experiences in podcasts to broaden your understanding of grief and the range of reactions and situations that impact moving forward.
6. Cry to release stress and tension, to purge toxic hormones from chronic stress, and to move through grief and loss.
7. Learn your triggers and ways to cope so you manage your grief responses. The purpose is not to take away the response but to move it from public to a private location.
8. Stillness and/or mindfulness ** Loving Kindness Meditation Self compassion is the bedrock of holding and carrying your grief. Regular practice in tuning into your inner self and connecting with the present offers the outstanding benefit of calming your nervous system and connecting with all parts of your inner self.
Cognitive and Creative Coping
1. Learn about grief theory so that you can relax in knowing and understanding the parameters of grief and how it is being expressed in your life.
2. Creating a plan for special days and holidays provides you with a positive and meaningful focus on important markers during the year. If family is involved include them in planning and executing small, yet significant rituals or events in the day.
3. Focus on practicalities
4. Analyze and reflect by speaking with friends or hiring a grief counsellor. Journaling is an excellent way to unload and then consider what is healthy or not.
5. Make something in memory or as a way to signal your personal changes: drawing, woodworking, painting, writing, photography, collaging, quilting, pottery, scrapbooking
6. Music and Dance are certainly ways to express feelings, connect with others, boost mood, and reduce stress.
Hope these ideas help you find the ways that work for you to navigate and manage your grief and loss responses.
Yours in living and loss, Brenda