With the shorter days and colder winter months, many people experience what is often called the winter blues. It’s not uncommon to feel fatigue, sadness, difficulty concentrating, and a disruption in your sleep schedule during the winter season. Adding a dose of grief to the seasonal mix can increase the impulse to isolate, ignore self-care habits, can exacerbate feelings of depression.

Grief in the holidays can be a heavy load at times. Grief seems magnified during this time of year. Conflicting emotions and desires can create real tension within: you want to be happy with your family and friends, yet the absence of your loved one is so painful at the same time.

Did you know there are 7 types of grief? Isn't everybody’s grief the same? Yes, grief is all the deeply personal internal experience of your thoughts and feeling and this sounds straightforward. Yet, our grief and how we cope with the loss is greatly impacted by factors surrounding the loss.

Why does grief and anxiety go together? Since anxiety is a stress response and grief is certainly a stress, it makes sense that they can go together. Your loss may be recent or many years ago, but anxiety can become an expression of grief that you may not realize.

The holiday season can be especially challenging to those who are grieving because it is a season, not just a day, that is full of memories and traditions. Grief is hard work no matter the time of year. Tears will likely be a part of your season and may even take a sacred place at the holiday table. A helpful idea is to create your own holiday grief map. Here are a few suggestions to get you started.

What to give to someone who has lost a loved one? This question is often asked and although flowers are the traditional gift of condolence, there are many other alternatives.

Year 2 of grief is often called the “lonely year”. Many people think that once surviving the first year, and yes, it does feel like you are just hanging by your fingernails, the rest will be easy. Often I hear “I feel like I’m starting all over again” .You aren’t. This is a good time to rejoin a support group or a grief retreat.

How long does grief last? Will I always feel out of control? What is the normal stages of grief?

During the first year, there will begin to be spaces between acute grief and then a special day or holiday looms in the future and we get dragged or pushed down the grief pit again. Each of these markers represents a general overview and carries with it the challenges of the initial year.

As Easter approaches, I find myself with less energy and feeling melancholy. I asked myself, “What’s going on?” and then I said the magic words…. “This is my Grief. Hello Grief!”

When we are thrust into the events of loss, our lack of knowledge and misconceptions become apparent. These myths can increase the difficulty in moving through grief. Shining a light on expectations that are not helpful is a good place to begin understanding and adjusting to your new reality.

Before I was widowed, I thought grieving was just lots of crying. And it is. But I found out that it is so much more. 

Just like our fingerprints, our grieving is individual.

There is a constellation of symptoms that will be unique to you. As you navigate through the landscape of you grief, life can be very chaotic and upsetting. It’s certainly ok that you’re not ok. 

The following list may suprise and overwhelm you in the length of symptoms. You certainly won’t experience everything here. Remember, your grief shows in your own way. Easy does it.