What to Send Instead of Flowers When Someone Dies
Flowers may be the traditional gift of condolence but the short shelf time of cut flowers can be upsetting when a person is consumed with thinking about the death. Other times, there is not enough room in the house to display all the bouquets. Although these acts of kindness are appreciated, when someone dies we can choose alternatives to send instead of flowers.
No matter the reason, it is important to send a gift that suits the persons needs. Be sure to consider what your friend or relative enjoys as a way to give something meaningful.
A charitable donation: This is a way to give to a charity that was meaningful to the person or family.
Candle: A candle can act as a visible sign of hope and comfort for the bereaved, especially in the darkness of our long winter months.
Vases: Sometimes the person does not have the number of vases for all the flowers.
Gift cards: Always useful at a later time when grief is still difficult and everyone has gone away.
A comfort care basket: This is a way to individualize small items that suit that particular person.
A plant: This living reminder will last much longer than a beautiful bouquet. Choose a hardy houseplant like ZZ or Pothos.
A cleaning or yard service: This is a most practical gift of comfort as the daily life of a family and household grinds on in the months ahead. If you are very close, you could offer to help yourself once a month in ways that you feel comfortable.
Photos of the person who died: Yes, these are a real comfort to the bereaved and collecting photos you may have and later sharing duplicates can be a source of cherished past memories.
If there is enough, compiling in a digital album is a real gift of that person’s legacy.
A grocery delivery: Food is also a traditional sign of support. You may want to share this gift a month or so after the funeral.
A book or journal with a written message
Memory quilts, pillows, or teddy bears: Find a person who makes these items and send clothing items like the shirts, ties, etc. to be repurposed into a lasting item of comfort.
Childcare or dog walks: Either of these may be a helpful respite if that is the stage of life your grieving friend or relative is presently enjoying.
Just your words: Don’t hesitate to send a message, letter, or call for a regular check in visit. Inviting the person out for coffee or tea visit is a tangible and meaningful way to show you care.
No matter what you decide to do, the grieving person appreciates your time and thoughtfulness in showing your support.